Never Look Back

Dear Blog (and whatever readers I have left),

I'm writing you now...a woman six months older than I was in my last post. Forgive my absence, but I've been deliberately and accidentally forsaking you....Let me explain.

My absence has been deliberate in a way because I've been working hard to build my business..and I've been contemplating on whether or not I should ever even return to you. I've changed so much since I created this blog. I've moved about four times and from state to state. I turned 29. *pause* I fell in love and then love fell out of me. So much has changed. And guess what!? When this blog started, I was a grad student, working on my thesis, and now, even I can't believe I am teaching a college course on writing. Crazy right.


But my absence has also be accidental, I should say, because I never intended for my life to go this way.

But I can't look back.

The last time I wrote to you, I didn't realize it then, but that was probably the first day of the end of a good chapter in my life...and the prelude to an even better one.

I thought I was happy, personally, and I was. But that source of happiness was only a fix. Like a drug. And once my supply was gone, I went into remission. Only there was no chance of me turning back.

It was gone.

And then...a few days after I last wrote to you, I left my fulltime job...hard to believe that's been over five months. But it has and my business has picked up tremendously. Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm living my life the way I dreamed, almost.

I want to go back sometimes. I miss my life the way that it was just a year ago. I miss being missed. I miss having a regular paycheck that made my life so simple. But then I hear it in my head, something that I've heard so many times by numerous people over the past year, "never go backwards."

So there you have it. I shall continue to go up.

xoxo